Amy Schumer, who’s been destroying it on Comedy Central this year with her show Inside Amy Schumer, finally turned her satirical death ray on dog parents. We were scared. There is so much to mock. Sweaters. Little dogs in handbags. Raw food diets. A website devoted entirely to dogs.
Amy, however, didn’t go for the low-hanging fruit. She tackled the oneupmanship of dog moms at a doggie daycare, each bragging about how hard their rescue dogs had it and shaming people who choose purebred dogs (or even rescue puppies!) over rescue dogs.
Here are just a few of the great lines in a skit full of them.
“I left grass-fed bison with the woman in the front.”
“I can never adopt a puppy.”
“My Duke was 14 when I rescued him. His owners had just dropped him off at the shelter to die, and I was like, ‘nu-uh, old man, you’re coming with me.”
“Duke lost his legs when a cop shot him in St. Louis.”
“My rescue is on Prozac for anxiety.”
“Oh, cute purebred! What mall did you get her from?”
“The Darfur Galleria — it’s in the Sudan. He was a child dog solider and was abandoned by the Bedouin militia when they found out he was gay.”
And then up comes the ultimate hero of them all — a woman who’s rescued her dog from the shelter after he had been … well, we don’t want to spoil it. Watch for yourself:
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